My inadvertent attempt at smoked chicken


  • Chicken breasts (I recommend skinless and boneless)
  • Some seasonings (I prefer pepper and garlic salt)
  • Oil


Cooking Instructions:

  1. Conquer your fears of cooking chicken.
  2. Using a frying pan, pour a generous layer of oil in it. Make sure it fully covers and coats the entire bottom of the pan. Roughly, about ½ inch thick.
  3. Preheat the oil, by turning the burner to High. You want to make sure the chicken will be thoroughly cooked.
  4. While waiting for the oil to get hot, begin prepping the chicken, which consists of cleaning, adding seasonings or marinating, cutting it up, etc.
  5. First rinse off the chicken to remove any unsightly bits and pieces. This is not fun for a germaphobe, I would know, since I have an obsession of washing my hands to get rid of germs. Thus, this part is very crucial to rinsing the chicken and picking off any abnormalities, such as extra skin, veins, etc. that may make the chicken look unappetizing.
  6. Wash your hands.
  7. Sprinkle the first side with the seasonings. The seasoned side will be placed down in the pan.
  8. Using tongs place the chicken in the hot oil. Prepare to be acquainted with loud sizzling, oil splattering, and smoke. Step away from the stove to keep away from getting burned by the oil.
  9. Quickly turn on the overhead fan.
  10. Don’t let your feelings of incompetence take over just yet. Make sure to breathe. Dinner is not ruined.
  11. Turn the chicken over quickly (using the tongs) to try to remove the frustrating sounds of it burning.
  12. You now realize that you did not season the other side of the chicken. More importantly, that you should have left the chicken as it was because turning it over just made it repeat the same process of oil splattering, loud sounds of sizzling, and more smoke.
  13. Continue to flip the chicken from side to side because now you do not know when it is fully cooked since you already have been turning them over constantly.
  14. Be sure to open any windows or doors because the oil and chicken will begin to burn quickly creating a cloud of smoke in the kitchen.
  15. Fan the smoke outside to keep the smoke alarm from being set off. However, if the alarm starts chirping, quickly disconnect it as to not notify the neighbors that you are failing miserably at cooking chicken.
  16. Remember to breathe.
  17. Now remove the chicken from the burning oil, once the smoke alarm goes off or the kitchen fills with smoke, it is safe to say the chicken is done.
  18. Go ahead and plate your dinner with whatever you were able to make while cooking the chicken. For example, a salad, rice, potatoes, and vegetables are all good side dishes.
  19. Now enjoy the rubbery and burnt chicken that you made for the very first time.


About dkb1

I am a senior at St. Mary's College. I am a Liberal & Civic Studies major with a Theology & Religious Studies minor. View all posts by dkb1

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